die Toilette Fakten

(The Bathroom Facts: What Everyone Should Know Before Visiting Deutschland)

• The two key phrases everyone needs to know:

1. Wo ist die toiletten? (Where is the bathroom)

2. Darf ich die toiletten benuntzen, bitte? (May I use the bathroom please?)

• Never, I mean never, spend your 50euro cent pieces. Save them all up for the bathrooms. The majority of the toilettes (gas stations, public toilets, etc) in Europe cost. Ladies, I promise, the price is worth it. Gentlemen, I can't say either way. But the last thing in the world you want is to really need to go, have no change to do so, and be unable to communicate (in German) the complete and utter emergency you are experiencing.

• 'Dusche' in German = 'Shower in English.' This creates instant jokes for some Americans, including my husband, who now, as an insult/joke will sometimes call you a 'showerbag.'

• When in the presence the Germans, or just Europeans in general, if you excuse yourself to the 'bathroom,' jokes will immediately ensue. To the Europeans, using the bathroom is using the actual bathtub. They will begin joking about how and why you need to bathe in the middle of dinner or whatever event you're in the midst of. Instead, excuse yourself to the 'toilet.' This will save you from being the butt of many jokes.